04-11-19
There’s a point of contempt where not even the pain/anger from the emotion is present. You’ve given in so much into the rage/sadness that drives this emotion and have lost all hope. For Real by Okkervil River captures this moment perfectly.
Most every song of this week came in my life all at the same time, and that’s likely a sizeable attributing factor in how I view, them. With that being said, I had been able to empathize with the lyrics of this song enough that it did begin to concern me. I found that in that act of being concerned I probably had less to worry about, but still plenty to consider.
Sometimes the pain and hatred in a person are too much to contain. They may be moved to express this pain in a manner which allows for any release because to feel anything else is all they’re looking for. For me, THIS is the manner which those feelings have typically expressed themselves, through writing, contemplation and the production of visual work. Don’t get me wrong, I have broken things out of anger, hit inanimate objects like walls, and doors, because again the physical pain is a welcomed distraction to the emotional distress, and in that frame of mind there’s little regard for bodily injuries. Emotional pain is fickle, you cannot pinpoint precisely where it is coming from, and that’s because it is coming from a whole host of areas all at once.
Learning to manage and understand my own personal triggers have changed how I respond to situations. My emotions and thoughts still get the best of me, but I have learned how to react more appropriately. It feels like Contempt as feeling hangs in that odd place where it is simultaneously distant, and easily recalled. This is a welcome change after knowing how present it lingered continuously. Contempt, in my humble opinion, is an emotion of little service. It drives emotions that get the best of us as oppose to allowing us to be our best. This an important distinction. There is minimal opportunity for Contempt to provide service beyond driving a sense of Vigilance derived from being scorned. Letting go of the pain, but keeping the lesson is much more effective way of managing the longevity to one’s emotional well-being.
Lyrics:
Some nights I thirst for real blood
For real knives, for real cries
And then the flash of steel from real guns
In real life really fills my mind
I really miss what really did exist
When I held your throat so tight
And I miss the bus as it swerved from us
And came crashing to its side
Some nights the blood from real cuts
Feels real nice when it’s really mine
And if you want it to be real
Come over for one night
And we can really, really climb
Cause blue bridge lights
Might really burn most bright
While we watch that dark lake rise
And if you really want to see
What really matters most to me
Just take a real short drive
It’s just a drive into the dark stretch
Long stretch of night
Really stretch this shaking mind
And this room, unlit, unheated
And the ceiling striped
And the dark black blinds
I want to know this time
If you’re really finally mine
I need to know that you’re not lying
And so I want to see you tried
And I don’t want to hear you say
It shouldn’t really be this way
Because I like this way just fine
‘Cause there’s nothing quite like
The blinding light
That curtains cast aside
And no attempt is made to explain away
Things that really, really, really, really, really are behind
You can’t hide, you can’t hide, you can’t hide
You can’t hide, you can’t hide, you can’t hide