04-08-19
The gift of gab isn’t something I ever felt like I was born with, contrary to what others may say, it’s something I have consciously worked at understanding and perfecting for all appropriate times. One of the most influential teachers for me was one of the earliest relationships I was in. She had the “quickest wit, the quickest quips,” and it did feel hard keeping up. At least until I began to adopt some of the same methods of debate.
What began as “double-speak” quickly turned into something else entirely. First, there was the thought, that maybe she was just forgetful, not having a clear memory of the things she said, or how she said them. Then it became something to endure, because we all have negative flaws, and maybe she was working through these. Unfortunately, it took me longer than I care to admit but I began to discover the venom in her voice was due to misinterpretation, that’s just part of who she was.
She thought she was smarter than me, and she may very well have been, but she banked on this being a certainty, ultimately sewing the seeds for contempt and resentment as I began learning a bit about how she operated. A lot of the distrust and aggression we exhibited for one another started out of misguided notions and failed communication, but that’s the way it goes, right?
I was always told that we were friends first, and lovers second, but how I was treated and spoken too never felt like any of her other friends. It became clearer that I was there to serve a purpose more than be an emotional partner. This behavior ultimately led me to adopt similar responses. Eventually, my kind demeanor began to grow cold and bitter, I began to develop the same bite of the tongue, an ability to sharply contradict any that I may disagree with.
Eventually, she began to catch on and realized that my once calm and doting spirit was quickly being replaced by someone that was trying to be just as jaded, and just as vindictive. I’m a quick learner, especially when I put my mind to something. Though we would both find ourselves in constant states of conflict and emotional upheaval, we also felt some inane sense of loyalty to one another. This only proves to prolong an abusive situation.
Lyrics:
Say it again!
Say it again!
I know you love to
Hear yourself speak
Words that you think
I can’t follow
And maybe that’s the way
You and I will always relate
You always had
The quickest wit
The quickest quips
And I can’t keep up
It’s clear that you have
A rare gift of gab
And I’m just jealous
Maybe that’s the way
You and I will always relate
But I won’t let
How I sincerely
Feel, dear
Stand in my way
Cause there’s
No love lost
That I can’t
Find again
My dear friend
You always said that we’re friends
But that must depend
Which way the wind blows
It’s clear that you have
Your own set of plans
And I just follow
Maybe that’s the way
You and I will always relate
So I won’t let
How I sincerely
Feel here
Stand in my way
Cause there’s
No love lost
That I can’t
Find again
My dear friend