02-19-19

Similar to Spoon’s Underdog, Ambling Alp by Yeasayer is about maintaining that trust within yourself. Unlike Underdog, Ambling Alp, takes it a step further though; created initially as a fictitious conversation between Joe Louis, American Boxer, and his father, the song Ambling Alp, is supposed to take place on the eve of Joe Louis’ famous fight with the Italian fighter that made the name Ambling Alp famous. The song is from the perspective of the father giving his son advice on how to win, both in the fight and within life. He’s telling him how it’s up to Joe to fight for what he believes in because we cannot rely on anyone else to take arms for us, there’s a point where we have to trust in ourselves to take action.

When this song first came out, it was the end of college, and I was getting ready to make some significant life changes. Needless to say, I was going through major separation anxiety. I was separating from the majority of everything and everyone that I was connected with for the last five years. I was still in the mindset that I would be moving away from this place I called home for over five years (longest any single place I ever lived my whole life.) I knew things were going to change and connections were going to be lost, but unfortunately, the majority of my more pivotal relationships had never been built on a solid support, or trust to begin with. My support system of friends dwindled overnight, we hadn’t seen eye to eye on a fair number of things, instead of talking it out we always took to avoid it. It was something I had seen coming for a long time, it didn’t make the process any easier. They felt that I violated their trust, I felt like there wasn’t ever any trust so how could I violate something that didn’t exsist. It took years to understand how that ultimately impacted me, not fully acknowledging the hold it had on me. We were all immature, and we were all guilty of something and accountable to no one. It was apparent by the end of the relationship that my time with them was merely a friendship out of convenience, this didn’t diminish the times we shared, but it did help me reevaluate the strength of remorse to hold, which ultimately was none. I made poor choices, one of which was entrusting people that hadn’t earned my trust to begin with. We were the same age, we went to the same school, we lived in the same hall, we listened to somewhat similar music, and we all smoked around the same time, these were the only parameters in establishing a trusting relationship at that point in life, as I actually put form to thought my only response is, “oh honey.”

I decided to walk confidently in an unknown direction. I believed where I had come from no longer served me, so where I was heading presented new opportunities, and was immediately more attractive. I had only myself to trust in. It was an emotionally confusing time. Staying true to myself first met discovering in more depth what that meant to me. I delved deeper into my creative process.

This leads me to the moment where I was about to start my professional career by way of making my first major sale to a local landmark hotel. I had worked tirelessly for two weeks creating a library of designs and assets, yet I was still experiencing “impostor” syndrome. I’m sitting in the lobby of the hotel, more nervous than I ever had been. I’m going over my designs and my portfolio, and I decide to put in my earbuds. This was the first song to pop up. Sure, I had already been listening to it repetitively for months as a crutch, but it still came up after I hit shuffle all the same. I decided that day, thanks to this song, that it wouldn’t matter ever again, I wouldn’t let someone else’s expectations or values trump my own, if anyone was going to trust in me, it had to start with me.

Nearly ten years later I still experience “impostor syndrome,” Especially in regards to anything I create, if I made it, I made it, I made it for a reason, and that reason is hardly ever “just because.” I have since realized this is a feeling shared by most, and it persists throughout life, as long as we let it. This is why we must continue to act within our own truths, that way even if we are experiencing this doubt, we’ll have the solace to know we’re operating via our own truths.

Lyrics:

[Instrumental Intro][Verse 1]
Now kid, I know I haven’t been a perfect man
And I’ve avoided doing things I know I can
But if I’ve learned one thing to tattoo on my arm
Or burn into my thumb
It would be that

[Hook]
You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done

[Verse 2]
Oh Max Schmeling was a formidable foe
But Ambling Alp was, too, at least that’s what I’m told
But if you learn one thing, you’ve learned it well
In June you must give fascists hell
They’ll run but they can’t hide

[Hook]
You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done

[Bridge]
And when those thunder clouds are crying in the skies, in the skies
And when those fireflies keep shining in your eyes, in your eyes
Keep your mind on the time, with your ass on the line
Keep your fleet feet sliding to the side, to the side

[Verse 3]
Now, the world can be an unfair place at times
But your lows will have their complement of highs
And if anyone should cheat you
Take advantage of, or beat you
Raise your head and wear your wounds with pride

[Hook]
You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done