01-12-19
There’s a point of anxiousness, at least for me, when I feel like all my senses are heightened; whether I know what it is I’m looking for or not, every sense is working overdrive, evaluating my surroundings. This sensation, the one created by the adrenaline pulsing through the blood turning me anxious, it’s one that helps remind me that I’m alive. Its strength is drawn from my innate desire to preserve and stay and alive.
Times when I feel I must be so careful, bring the fear that one slight stumble may lead to a significant downward spiral. The thought of it gets the heart pumping, “beating like a drum.” When I allow my subconscious (as much as one can,) to start viewing all situations and interactions from this lens, it’s easy to get lost in the thought.
The vigilance that’s working to keep me alert of what’s going on externally and internally is one which I must be consciously vigilant over. Some of my more primal pre-wired responses are no longer necessary in today’s world, but that doesn’t stop them from entering my mind. It’s easy for me to interpret their existence for some other emotion, but in doing so, I am also losing any ability to address the emotion impacting my disposition directly.
Lyrics:
I tremble
They’re gonna eat me alive
If I stumble
They’re gonna eat me alive
Can you hear my heart
Beating like a hammer
Beating like a hammer
Help I’m alive
My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft
Tough to be tender
Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train
Help I’m alive
My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Beating like a hammer
If you’re still alive
My regrets are few
If my life is mine
What shouldn’t I do?
I get wherever I’m going
I get whatever I need
While my blood’s still flowing
And my heart’s still
Beating like a hammer
Beating like a hammer
Help I’m alive
My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Hard to be soft
Tough to be tender
Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train
Help I’m alive
My heart keeps beating like a hammer
Beating like a hammer
If you’re still alive
My regrets are few
If my life is mine
What shouldn’t I do?
I get wherever I’m going
I get whatever I need
While my blood’s still flowing
And my heart’s still
Beating like a hammer [Repeats]
Help I’m alive
My heart keeps beating like a hammer