12-5-18 What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie

12-5-18

What Sarah Said, has always been one of the most emotionally charged songs for me. There isn’t one element of it that I’ve ever felt a need to critique. And as the pages on the calendar slip quicker and quicker, the poignancy of the lyrics increases more and more.

This song is a meditation on grief and death. The struggle that every human must endure is that of our own mortality. The reality of this we tend to overlook is that our lives will culminate in which we have watched all our loved ones die, or all our loved one will have to watch us die.

The story goes that Ben Gibbard, lead singer for Death for Cutie, had been speaking with his close friend Sarah when she mentioned an exchange that she had with her husband. One day they were walking, and she was struck with an immense sadness and grief. “Love is watching someone die,” she said to her husband. This concept was speaking to the reality that the pain of death is extended beyond us, and onto our loved ones.

Death is an equalizer. We are all moving towards our individual exodus at our own pace. To love someone is to be there for them, bear witness to their lives, bask in their joy, share in the sorrow, and support during our physical decline until our respective death rattle brings inevitable release. Committing to share in another’s life is committing to this reality too.

Compositionally this song is so carefully balanced as prosody and melody. The cadence of the piano creates an almost unnerving urgency masked within its rhythm. This allows the weight of the lyrics to have their full impact bringing with them a crushing reality and almost numbing response, driving home the central thesis of the song, “that love is watching someone die.”

I know for many this song has acted as an anthem to their dearly departed. For myself I had always found a sense of resilience and determination in its lyrics. At many points in my life I have thought I could relate to the emotions embedded within this song—I thought it something that came every time you said those magik words, “I love you.” Then I would experience setback, heartbreak, and love lost. The realization that these feelings aren’t inherit, they are rare, and they are created by much more than three words can ever deliver has helped me understand the true emotional depth necessary. I yearn to be worthy of such an emotional response, and I know it’s not something that once achieved is forever determined. Everyday is an opportunity to work at being worthy of this sentiment.

Lyrics: