11-16-18
In listening to this song, I am instantly transported back a 13-year-old me, and then quickly a 20-year-old me, and then poof, I’m back. It’s funny because I feel like a 13-year-old me walking around in an adult body on a continuous basis. I used to think that this was due to a lack of emotional growth, a lack of maturity, or worst a general refusal to accept the process of aging. However, the more I have sat and thought about this perception I am welcomed by the concept.
I reflect back on the adolescence in me, and it was a person filled with curiosity and compassion. Someone that wanted earnestly, to make a difference, leave their proverbial mark. When I reflect on the type of person, I was in my 20’s I remember someone who was lost in a dark room stumbling for a light-switch; a little less romantic. To be on this side I’m happy to find a stronger reminiscence of 13-year-old me as oppose to 20-year-old me.
Both served their purpose, and neither is one that I would change given the opportunity, as cliché as it sounds, they both led me to here, and here is pretty magikal. With that being said it took a great deal of learning how to have compassion for myself.
King of Carrot Flowers, like most Neutral Milk Hotel songs is riddled with numerous interpretations and subtleties that 20 years later I’m still discovering. The story goes Jeff Magnum, lead singer for Neutral Milk Hotel, walked into a book store, purchased The Diary of Anne Frank, having never read it before and became complete entranced by her words. He wrote a vivid and sorrowful mixture of ballads as a testament to his love for the departed writer. Of course this is a strange concept to most, but at its core its still an intense exploration of a person longing to say what’s in their soul in the only way they know.
So, with that scope in mind, there’s a myriad of songs on the album that could hold the keys of compassion close to any listener’s heart. King of Carrot Flowers details an intimate thought, one in which two people are trying to share every last piece of themselves with one another, knowing the baggage they bring, yet refusing to let any of that weigh them down.
In loving someone not despite their baggage, but in this instance almost because of it, illustrated a concept of compassion that I had never been exposed to. It’s easy to have compassion for someone when it’s convenient for ourselves, it’s a true test of character to be able to provide it under pressure…something 20 year old me was blind to.
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers
And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees
In holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet
And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy’s shoulder
And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor
As we would lay and learn what each other’s bodies were for
[Verse 2]
And this is the room one afternoon, I knew I could love you
And from above you how I sank into your soul
Into that secret place where no one dares to go
And your mom would drink until she was no longer speaking
And dad would dream of all the different ways to die
Each one a little more than he could dare to try