04-07-19
This song is the epitome of contempt. Its whole purpose is centered around a profound agitation for the person they have ended up with, and instead of taking measures to correct the relationship or leave entirely, they have relegated themselves to this existence. Even finding some enjoyment in the brewing hatred that has been shared.
Bull-headedness gets people into precarious positions that easily compromise our values and our aspirations. It’s made muddy by the desire to be right, for the sake of being right and nothing more. When there are two people in a relationship like this, it’s the perfect combination for a tumultuous setup.
When the pain and frustration of a harmful situation reaches a precipice, this is the result, an outward and open display of willful disobedience and disrespect. Energy starts to be directed towards ways of maintaining the pain and anger as opposed to trying for some amount of relief. Obviously, this is an unhealthy response. However it is a widespread response, and there have been generations of families that have experienced the effects.
When listening to this song I’m taken back to earlier relationships, the ones in which commitment reigned over compassion. Neither of us was strong enough to just be done, or at least I wasn’t, though the desire to leave was there it was too easy to stay caught up in a cycle no matter how dysfunctional it was. This only bred eventual contempt for a person that I once had only had the fondest intentions for. I remember in the lowest points of that period listening to this song and feeling such a deep connection to the sentiment that it scared me. I shouldn’t know what that feels like, I shouldn’t be able to entertain such thoughts, and I should receive joy from the verses of pain and suffering, yet there I was.
The pain I was enduring was fuel, it didn’t fuel anything healthy, but it did keep me going, giving me insight on how this particular emotion could be sustained for long periods, even becoming something you grow more or less addicted too. Finding security in new normalcy, no matter how detrimental its impacts may be.
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it’s already too late
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again in my life
[Bridge]
I hope I lie, and tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
[Verse 2]
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises
We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn’t over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can’t find one good thing to say
And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You’d stay the hell out of my way
[Bridge]
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
[Outro]
And I hope you die
I hope we both die