11-14-18
Venomous, now there’s a loaded word if ever there was one. It encapsulates so much in three simple syllables. For humans, devoid of venom glands, we use our language as our source of venom instead.
How is it that the people we love the most, we are also the most venomous too? Frustration easily blinds perception. Too quickly we succumb to attacking one another with the most intimate details… we spit that venom.
I think like most people, experiences in relationships have been the main motivating factor in exploring the emotions that reside in ourselves. From both ends of the spectrum (terror to ecstatic) most of us have been exposed to these concepts through interacting with other peers, friends, family, lovers, or even enemies. And though we may not realize it, the lessons we learn in one facet of our relationships transcends to all others.
One benefit I’ve been experiencing with time, one that I was never told about, is the true power of relationship dynamics. How a solitary perception of a relationship can be informed by an experience that may at first be completely unrelated. For example, the joy and wonderment of a new friendship as a child can help inform how to approach new relationships as an adult and the anxiety that can come with them. Inversely, the pain of a fouled past romantic relationship can prepare one for the toxicity in an abusive professional relationship.
Regardless of the nature of the relationship, our past experiences have left us with a roadmap to navigate through our future encounters. If we’re keen on understanding the nuances of our emotional disposition, we can pinpoint the triggers which push us towards these more dangerous extremes.
There are points where frustration can inform us of the need to walk away. For myself, this has been near impossible in most past experiences; whether it’s stubbornness, bull-headedness, or just simply being a glutton for the emotional punishment, I have found myself in dangerous venomous cycles. At their core these cycles were rooted in the frustration of not being able to change the unchangeable, not being able to come out with a victory…thinking that there was anything to ever be victorious of. These cycles would frequently bring me to toxic points, losing concern for self and all those around me. As I reflect on those periods the exact nature of conflict escapes me, at least the minute details, but the agony that the frustration brought with it is still easily recognizable. Now those feelings are less empowered by the raging hormones, and more rooted in the missed opportunities to be a better me—instead of giving in to the frustration and the venomous side.
It’s fruitless to let past frustrations dwell within the conscious. It serves no one. And yet I am taken to the end of Spitting Venom: “cheer up baby it wasn’t always quite so bad, for every bit of venom that came out, the antidote was had…” Whether it’s rose-colored glasses, or the greater pressures and fears that come with each new year, but in reflecting on that frustration that did exist, it wasn’t quite so bad, and now I’m more confident in the antidote I have.
Lyrics:
We were spitting venom at most everyone we know
If the damned gave us a road map then we’d know just were to go
Now let it drop
Let it all drop
Let it all drop
Oh let it all fall off
Well you were talking soda pop
You were talking quite a lot
The opinions that I do not give
The opinions I ain’t got
So let it drop
Let it all drop
Let is all drop
Let it all fall off there oh
Well you were spitting venom at most everyone you know
If you truly knew the gravity you’d know just where to go
Well let it drop
Let it drop
Let it all drop
Oh let it all fall off
My ears were pressed so firmly right against your mouth to hear
When you tried to spit the venom out your words were not so clear
Now drop
Hold on to what you need
We’ve got a knack for fucked up history
Hold on to what you need
We’ve got a knack for messed up history
Well we went downtown and we sat in the rain
Both looking one direction and waiting for a train of thought over
Thought over
I didn’t know you kept track I didn’t know there was a score
Well it looks like your the winner and I ain’t gonna play no more
It’s over
Game over
Well we walked real stiff and our canes hit the ground
You hit me with yours
And said, “You’re gonna stare me down”
It’s over
Oh it’s over
You can say what you want but don’t act like you care
It takes more than one person to decide whats fair
Its over
Think it over
You were spitting venom at most everyone you know
If the damned gave you a road map then you’d know just where to go
So we carried all the groceries in while hauling out the trash
And if this doesn’t make us motionless I do not know what can
What a rotten thing to say such an awful thing to say
I didn’t mean to bite you, sorry
I always did what I always did what I always had to sling
So let it drop
Let it all drop
Let it all drop
Oh let it all fall off
Let it drop
Let it all drop
Let it drop
Oh let it all fall off
Cheer up baby it wasn’t always quite so bad for every
Bit of venom that came out, the antidote was had
[X7]
Cheer up
Cheer up baby it wasn’t always quite so bad for every
Bit of venom that came out, the antidote was had
[X6]